Top 10 Cripplingalcoholism tips

If you're drunk af, put your phone on Do Not Disturb.

Got up and drank the better part of a handle of vodka this morning. I don't remember anything between 2 and 4 pm, when I went to sleep. Girlfriend is not happy.I apparently got a call from my doctor's office at 3. I guess we were on the phone for a minute. I have absolutely no idea what I told them because I don't remember the call at all. They called back twice a couple hours later. I called and they didn't have any messages or notes for me. Hmm.

Take thiamine (B1) supplement and wash it down with booze.

Korsakoff syndrome is a chronic memory disorder caused by severe deficiency of thiamine (vitamin B-1). Korsakoff syndrome is most commonly caused by alcohol misuse, but certain other conditions also can cause the syndrome.So take some B1 supps and wash it down with booze! You're welcome!

Get to know a muslim.

Those guys don't drink, prohibited by their religion, so you always have a dedicated driver wherever you go.

Take plastic bottle bottom shelf vodka and run it through a camping (or really any charcoal) water filter.

Then, enjoy your now high quality jug of booze.

Don't open a beer that's been in the hot sun all day without cooling it down.

So I'm sitting here doing the usual routine of drinking before I go in to work. Stupid me left my beer in my car last night because I had a case in the fridge. And of course, when I pulled out said case which has been baking in the Florida sun all day, I couldn't just wait for it to cool down before I opened one. It sounded like a fucking gunshot when the shit popped, and I spilled my glass of ice water all over my laptop. Luckily, macs seem pretty resistant to water damage and I got it cleaned up quickly enough. Still though, holy fuck.And I'll pre-empt it. Yes, I'm a fucking retard. And no, I don't care. Now chairs as I drink this hot beer.

The Lincoln Tunnel is a Trap.

So it looks like two buses collided in the Lincoln TunnelI SO look forward to that commute from the hinterland again, every day. NOT.But this is about booze...So open the photo and blow it up? What IS that over the tunnel???Is it a High School Football Field?! Yup. Kids play football over the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel...But what does that mean for CA's?If you get popped for a DWI by the NJ State Police entering or exiting the tunnel, or near where that shot was taken?Everything doubled. Fines, suspension, fees, everything. You are within 1000 feet of a school. Fuck you drunk, that you don't think in three dimensions... Come visit. Don't be an asshat. Never drink and drive.They have that shit locked down tight. Looks like no NYC for Lem today!Cheers!